Collected Thoughts

 I have a bunch of yarn that was at mom's she had a throw she started but didn't really like the pattern. So If ound another one I did like to make for her. I was all excited because it was going fast and I was practically done with the whole skien and had only had to "fix" it a few times.

Only to realize I'm doing it wrong. It's not a bad looking throw, it's just not what I was going for. The original problem I "fixed" was the actual pattern.  So now I'm starting the whole thing over again. It's supposed to be a basket weave pattern, with alternating front post double crochet and back post double crochet.  And on alternate rows you switch to back post and then front post, and it gives a weave effect. I was making sure they all lined up.

This is what I get for crocheting without a clear image of what I want.

Well, it got me through Gunless - a cute comedy although I totally didn't buy Paul Gross as an American bad guy. and I watched a few other things, most of Domino before I got tired of the way the film was edited and most of the WWI Paul Gross film I'm too lazy to look up the spelling - I didn't like the characters and gave up on it.

With something like this, at the beginning, I think I need to stick with Murder She Wrote or rewatching SGA or SG1 or something where I can pay half attention to the show and still know what's going on.

I think I'll keep it simple. My goals for this year to do more things. Try different things, cook more, be more active, push myself more.

I think it's vague enough to be doable. 

 Got my schedule for next week, finally put in a wordpad note so I won't lose it. 26 hours! I wanted more time and I got it, I hope I can squeeze in a time to get snow tires, I was going to do that today but I ended up working a temp job for Spherion - one of the places I worked before (not one that offered me a job). It was an extra 4 hours!

I had a great visit.

On my way down I got a call from the temp agency about a great job they had and they were submitting me. The job wanted someone with Publisher and Power Point experience which I don't have.  Then I heard that the temp agency considered me the best candidate  but the company wanted at least one other resume.

Today I heard that they went with the other person based on their experience with Publisher and Power Point. Which is so frustrating. I'm going to try to find some free or cheap classes in Microsoft office products so I can be up tod ate (I don't have Office on my computer).

However the part time job is still happening, I'm supposed to call Sunday to find out when I'm on the schedule. Although now I keep getting small paranoid thoughts that they are going to take the job away.

On the plus side almost all my Lands End stuff fit. There's one sweater I'm questionable about and I need a second opinion so I want to Skype with Mom. I tried to cal her today several times and she never answered, I guess she's busy.  The clogs from Lands End didn't fit but the Mary Janes did. So I'm going to return the clogs and get a pair of the Mary Janes in black.

Today I went to TJ Maxx and got some socks and wrist warmers. I didn't see gloves I liked or a hat I liked.  And I went to the shoe store and found a pair of clogs that fit and were comfortable and were affordable (versus being $120). So I bought them in black. They are patent so kinda shiny but on the black it doesn't look bad and now I've got what I need for the temp job.

I also have stuff being sent to me. Mom had a yarn stash that's now mine. And she bought some knitting and embrodiary stuff at a garage sale about 10-15 years ago. So now the knitting stuff is mine. I only ever have to buy circular needles again. This includes some pattern books.

Plus Grandma gave me some pattern books and her yarn AND her work bag! I've wanted one and now I have it. I stopped by the yarn shop and told K about it and she wants to see everything so as soon as I get it I'll take it over there for knitting.

I started a scarf, Mom found a 63 square crochet sampler with different stitches and the puff stitch was one. Except then I put in the box of stuff to be mailed (which was at Mom's house) and couldn't remember how many chains to make so I guessed and guessed wrong. But then I just kept going and I'm calling it my Chaotic Puff Stitch Scarf. I started doing sort of random things. Like 2 single crochets, then the puff stitch or alternating 2 and 3 single crochets. I think it looks neat.

 Let's see, instead of just giving my landlady the rent money in cash I wrote a check. I forgot to stick a note in that said "please don't deposit this until Monday afternoon". And then I didn't get to the bank in time and I overdrafted so that cost me an extra $25. It was suggested I ask to see if that could be waived, but I think this time I'll take the penalty.

On the plus side my cold seems to be pretty much gone.  There's still some congestion but I sound okay so I didn't call my primary care doctor. I did call the urologist and they can't see me until Thursday!  I did ask they let my urologist know I made an appointment.  Then I went and gave a urine sample at the lab. Benefit of living in a small town w/hospital - everything is easy to reach and no waiting.  I'm still on AZO, Benadryl, and ibuprofen for pain. I don't know what I took as a kid but it did something similar to  AZO only I think it was prescription and turned everything blue. I kinda miss the blue.

Oh! I finished my shawl/wrap/throw thing I made for Grandma. I realized at her size it's probably a blanket. And I'm saving it for Xmas present. I keep having to stop and start over on my Aunt J's shell scarf because the stitches get tighter and it looks wonky. Also I tried to crochet in my benadryl haze and that was just bad. I could probably do something simple.

Knitting is going okay. Purling I can't seem to get the hang of and now I'm wishing I had circular needles because I keep dropping the needles when Im starting or finishing rows. Somehow I don't remember the basics of crochet being this hard to learn. The shell pattern gave me fits at first but that was keeping the pattern straight. I guess I'll get circular needles and try it out.

And I have therapy soon and I need to remember to talk about a psychiatrist and to contact my primary care dr about getting a new seroquel prescription, its going to run out while I'm out of town.

 Went to the knitting club tonight and learned how to knit! And then I came home and was trying to practice and the needle slid out of the loops and when I was trying to put it back in I accidentally started to unravel everything.

Sigh. Well I cast on more stitches but I'm having trouble with getting the first row so.... back to crochet. I'll struggle with this for a while longer and then go to the yarn shop for some more help.

Holding two needles does not feel natural and I struggled trying to keep them held properly and the yarn. There's so much stuff to hold! There was another crocheter there (although she was working on a knitting project) and she said crocheting felt more natural to her as well. 

Methos is going to be a doctor. Okay Peter Wingfield is.  He lives in Burlington and he's attending UVM Medical school http://www.7dvt.com/2011peter-wingfield 

I have medication! It was very easy. I was the first person at the urgent care. They were very nice and the doctor did express a tiny bit of concern over the high dose of Seroquel but I told him all my blood work was fine and that I knew it was high and once I got a shrink I was going to talk about reducing it. He started to give me info about counselors and shrinks but I told him I had that covered.

Then I went to the farmer's market and got some great chicken and potatoes and rice and beans. And empanadas. T, who makes this lovely food, also makes a garlicy sauce for the empanadas that is out of this world.  She said if I called her middle of the week and could come by Saturday she'd make me a batch special. I forgot to ask how long it lasts but I could it straight. I'm having a hard time eating because Dean is circling me like shark. Seriously, I'm at the computer eating and he keeps jumping on the computer. I knock him off. He jumps up on the window and tries to casually get in my lap. I know he wants the chicken which will just make him sick. He just wants a crumb.


The farmer's market had winter squash and these adorable pie pumpkins. I need to go get my knives sharpened and find a pumpkiny recipe because I want one of those cute little pumpkins to eat! And little fingerling potatoes and turnips. And apples. I bought a bag of young apples at the grocery not realizing I'd get some at the farmer's market. 

I'm realizing I'm more excited about fall/winter produce than I am about spring stuff. Maybe after a real winter I'll feel different. I love squash and asparagus and next year I'm trying fiddle heads. And all that. But there's something about pumpkins and acorn squash and other winter squashes and dark leafy greens - kale, collards, etc. 

I don't know anyone in Missouri and I'm not sure what anyone who might live there can do -- write letters? Demand resignations? Something.

This story is just so maddening.  A middle school girl (with special needs) was sexually assualted, harassed, and then raped by a classmate in 2008-2009. They didn't believe her and she "recanted". The school officials, without her mother's knowledge, made her write an apology letter. They then expelled her from school and referred her to authorities for making a "false report".

She returned to school in 2009-2010. The same boy continued his harassment and attacks and she didn't say anything. Until she was raped AGAIN. The school officials didn't believe her. Again. Her mother took her to authorities this time, there was an investigation there was DNA evidence that proved she was raped by this boy. The boy was charged and pled guilty.

The girl's mother is suing the school for not protecting her daughter.

The school is fighting back and saying that this lawsuit is frivolous.

AND that "The girl failed and neglected to use reasonable means to protect her self, the response says. Any damages the girl may have sustained, “were as a result of the negligence, carelessness, or conduct of third parties over whom the District Defendants had neither control nor the right to control,” according to the school district response."

So the school is claiming that they had NO CONTROL and NO RIGHT to CONTROL the student who attacked this girl.

They seemed fine with finding a way to control her - forcing her to apologize, putting her in harms way. 

The story is here http://www.news-leader.com/article/20110816/NEWS12/110816008/Lawsuit-filed-against-Republic-School-District-over-rape-claim

The comments are, actually, fairly sane. The last time I looked there was no blame the victim.


That's all from the newspaper article.

If you read the complaint you find out the girl was interrogated without her mother present. That when she returned to school her mother asked for protection and monitoring and was denied. The male student dragged her to the back of a library and raped her there.

The school suspended her after the second attack for "Disrespectful Conduct and Public Display of Affection"

TTwo of the school officials - the principal and the school counselor -- named in the suit are women. I know being a woman doesn't make a person do the right thing when it comes to rape and sexual assault but despite that I hold women to a higher standard.

I also know the response is in legal jargon and they have to make claims in response to a suit but still.

A female student was raped twice and blamed and punished twice by a school. Everyone named in the suit should be fired. Actually I think they should all admit they were wrong and quit but I know that won't happen.

By the way - the school district that banned Slaughterhouse 5-- this is a school in that district.

The book (along with 2 others) were banned when a man with no children in the school district complained they "contradicted the Bible."

The school district is able to "protect" students from words and ideas from a complaint made by a man with no ties to the school.

And yet they have "no control nor any right to control" a student at one of their schools.

I keep thinking about this.

It really pisses me off the way the whole thing is handled. Not just the policy itself but the deletions and no responses. But especially the attitude that only using your real name is legitimate.

At this point I don't think I want a G+ account even if Google changes their policy. I'm beginning to think I don't want to give Google anymore of my business.


I also keep thinking do these people who think Real Names and Transparency equal honesty and niceness really believe that? Do they really believe that if everyone had to use some kind of Internet Passport and show their real information that suddenly people would be nice?

It doesn't happen with in person interactions. If it did, if seeing someone's face or knowing their name meant everyone was nice and civil and polite we wouldn't have bullying, harassment, stalking, people being rude.

Also in physical interactions and real world situations we don't give up the kind of information that Real Name Only people want us to give up. People don't tell everyone they meet their Real Legal Name, Spouse's Legal Name, children's names, where they live, where they work, where they went to school, etc and so on.

Unless it's a situation where there's a work badge everyday people go to gyms, clubs, bars, restaurants, concerts, movies, classes, workshops, etc and don't show their Real Name.

If it suddenly became a requirement that everyone had to WEAR their names EVERYWHERE I'm pretty sure a bunch of these Real Name Only people would flip out.

How many people interact on a daily basis and don't know each others names?

Some people may say well it's different, Real Life is different. But different how? There's no requirement that anyone tell the truth. Just because you are physically near someone when an interaction takes place doesn't mean it's going to be transparent or civil.