Collected Thoughts

Dad and brother are here!

My brother looks fantastic and like some actor I can't place. But he's lost weight! Or, he lost all his baby fat and now he's got lean muscle (I couldn't really tell he had loose shirt and jacket on) but his face is not baby fat ish anymore.

I'm fat. I'm fat. I'm fat. There's no way around it and HATE it but I have no self discpline. I need to try harder.

I'm 5'8"ish and I weigh 225 lbs. I just need to stop making excuses and go back on the South beach diet. I liked it, I felt better. I'm going to bed. Tomorrow I'm going to take some soup and salad to work for lunch.

And I need to exercise, so I'm going to try and find an exercise dvd I think I can do and get that because I get home too late to walk. I'm not in a very developed area so it gets really dark around here and I wouldn't want to walk after dark (mostly worried about cars).

I always say these things and then I never do them and I get so pissed at myself.