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askye at 10:15pm on 29/09/2019
askye at 10:15pm on 29/09/2019 Mom was an incredibly frustrating patient. She is doing great post stroke but she is trying to do too much. She doesn't want to be out of control and she doesn't want to give up ANYTHING at all so she is driving. Hey, the doctor said she could. It doesn't matter that if she loses concentration she pulls to the left. She is sitll going to drive.
She was even talking about driving to my brother's in VA for Halloween. No way. I told her. But she said "I want to see the fall leaves". So she may actually , in fact, decide that flying is just too much of a hassle so she will drive. And then she may get in a car accident and there is not a damn thing we can do because she wants it so she is going to do it.
However I have watched the new Good Place and I am happy. I haven't watched anything else really.
I did get my vacation at the beach where I realized I'm a lot more like Mom than I want to be. My brother says she is all about herself and what she wants and if you try to stop her she gets upsets and pouts or is emotional. I tried to defend her but then I realized OH MY GOD. Yes. I have done a bunch of stuff Mom's way because it was fucking easier than setting boundaries. Also she is such a control freak over doing certain things she unintentionally sent me the message that I am not capable.
Because it would go like - I try to /want to do something. Mom: No let me that's too heavy/too complicated/too much for you , I'll do it. So then I didn't push back because if I did it would be a thing so I just stopped trying to do stuff and let mom do things until it got freaking ridiculous where my 70 ish year old mother is still telling me not to do stuff because it's too heavy, too hard, too much and she'll do it. I also realized that if she needs extensive care it is not going to be with me providing it at home. I do not want to use up whatever spoons I will end up having after work to try and deal with it. I was so fed up with arguing over whether she should drive , stop PT, etc that I just wanted to pack up and go home and leave it all to her.
She was even talking about driving to my brother's in VA for Halloween. No way. I told her. But she said "I want to see the fall leaves". So she may actually , in fact, decide that flying is just too much of a hassle so she will drive. And then she may get in a car accident and there is not a damn thing we can do because she wants it so she is going to do it.
However I have watched the new Good Place and I am happy. I haven't watched anything else really.
I did get my vacation at the beach where I realized I'm a lot more like Mom than I want to be. My brother says she is all about herself and what she wants and if you try to stop her she gets upsets and pouts or is emotional. I tried to defend her but then I realized OH MY GOD. Yes. I have done a bunch of stuff Mom's way because it was fucking easier than setting boundaries. Also she is such a control freak over doing certain things she unintentionally sent me the message that I am not capable.
Because it would go like - I try to /want to do something. Mom: No let me that's too heavy/too complicated/too much for you , I'll do it. So then I didn't push back because if I did it would be a thing so I just stopped trying to do stuff and let mom do things until it got freaking ridiculous where my 70 ish year old mother is still telling me not to do stuff because it's too heavy, too hard, too much and she'll do it. I also realized that if she needs extensive care it is not going to be with me providing it at home. I do not want to use up whatever spoons I will end up having after work to try and deal with it. I was so fed up with arguing over whether she should drive , stop PT, etc that I just wanted to pack up and go home and leave it all to her.
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