Collected Thoughts

And we danced and danced...

Okay, enough with that. So, the showcase. I was so damn nervous. I was totally freaking out I needed to take a Klonopin except I had none with me. So, I get there, I'm early, yay and all that. I stand around and finally I can do my run through. You get one run through and that's it.

So the music is playing---btw Libertango, Yo Yo Ma. It needed to be 2 to 2 1/2 mins. We had it choreographed, I was hitting everything, right down to it. I did all the routine and then it starts over (well not the intro) and then I was going to do these flares again and turn out for the ending. Except the music just stops. Not at the flares, no not there. Before that...I'd describe it but y'all wouldn't know what I'm talking about it. Any I lost about 40 secs maybe of my dance. Maybe less but the second set of flares which I loved...gone!

So there I am freaking out that it just ends, at, well, less than 2 minutes and I'm facing the wall away from everyone and...it wasn't good. I was totally freaked out.

Then I went to Mom's to do my make up. Did that, came back. Was told by someone "you aren't in your dress? We're starting soon, it's just after 5." I wore one dress to dance in and one the rest of the time. So then I freaked because the showcase started at 5:30 and Mom had helped me and hadn't gotten ready and...I called her to find out it wasn't even a quarter til 5.

Then...I discover we'd forgotten to save a place for her.

And then I was so stressed I was in tears. So there I am, ready to I don't know what when I'm just freaked and K, who is an instructor was so nice and another student talked to me, told me to drink some water and pat my face so my make up wouldn't run. I did. K worked out the sitting problem.

I found my instructor and we worked out so I wouldn't end facing the audience.

Did I mention I was dancing fourth? I did. Mom got there on time.

I danced fourth. I got up, nervous, with a goofy grin on my face. And the music started, and as it did I danced, I looked dramatic. The only things I can remember from dancing are thinking "I nailed the flares" (the floor was kind of sticky, it was linoleuom and not wood) and this is the end. I don't remember anything else.

Well, I have a vague impression when I did my dip and this other move but that's it.

And then I was fine. But there was some, well, drama. Because there is a new male instructor who is---he can DANCE. I mean, he's got natural rhythm, he's funny, he doesn't dance like he's got a stick up his ass, which is the way my current instructor does (I'll be getting the new guy as my instructor). And my current instructor T, and E a female instructor, dance together competetivly and have since Dec or so. They did 2 exhibition dances. and between those dances M (the new guy) and K (another female instructor who is a total sweetheart) danced. T & E did a somethign that was...well, plastic feeling and cold and people clapped at the end. M& K danced and people cheered and whistled and yelled . M &K's dance had passion and rhythm and they looked like they were having fun! T & E looked like they were working. Not working it. Working.

Then T & E did a swing and people clapped at certaint times but not anywhere close to what M & K got. Also M &K , as people are more accessible than T &E. They just are. After wards, when there was generally dancing, I asked E to dance (female instructors lead and follow even in social situations) and she wouldn't she said she didn't feel well. I asked her if it was something she ate. She said it was physical, that somethign had happened and now she could barely stand to watch people dance. I wonder if it was the difference in applause that got to her.