Collected Thoughts

 Reason has prevailed! And I'm staying home.  I'm resting up and I'm going to drink lots of fluids.

 I feel like crap right now.  I started the IV antibiotics, this morning I realized I'd pulled it out so I had to go and put it back in and now I'm worried I did it again.

Typing is probably not helping. My period started.

I accidentally closed the bathroom door where the litter box is.  they went in the clean laundry which I guess is better than on the floor. Although I'm still worried I may find something somewhere.

i tried to clean up the house  using my left hand as little as possible but I don't know how well I did. 

I'm tired. I keep crying.  I'm still having that ache that now I'm sure is my kidney.  I am just so over feeling like this, having no energy  and feeling overwhelmed and exhauste dand this mornign didn't help.

I just want to call in sick tomorrow but I can't.  Because Ihave work to do, that I'm not sure how I'm goign to get done, and my back ups are just swamped with work.

I'm tired of barely having enough energy to do anythign and feeling like I need three times as long to get it back. At this point i've been feeling this bad for almost 3 full months. I' don't know how long I've had this infection but I'm betting it's much longer than that.

I was goign to say if I was sicker I'd consider calling in sick. I'm on IV antibiotics, Iv'e had an infection for over 3 months and  yet it's still not really sick enough for me to justify calling in sick.

 I haven't updated in a very long time. I realized that I've really pulled away socially from people and I'm just being more hermitish.  But I've had this on going health issue of the very vague "pain in my side"

Which, after several tests, is kidney and bladder infection. Really bad infection. They went in and did a cystoscopy and after seeing the infection did an antibacterial wash of , well , just about everything.  The really horrible pain I had was my kidney due to the infection. I don't know how long I've had this infection (I was too groggy to think to ask) but I'm guessing since October.  I did have one round of antibiotics for a UTI but evidentally that didn't help.  So now I'm on 18 days of antibiotics.

I also realize that I wasn't taking care of myself and my Diet coke addiction is not a good thing. I *say* it's about 4-6 cans per day but it's more than that on some days. Because I'll go to a restaurant for dinner and I can drink 3 glasses or so. On top of the 4 or so I have during the day.

Not to mention the fact I drink very little water.   So today is my first day of caffiene free. I think the nurse said i could have soda or tea once in awhile,but  I know myself. I've tried to drink just one a day and that didn't work. I think the longest I've gone is 1 week without soda. And then I had one, just for the occasional soda, and I was back to the diet coke addiction.

So far no headaches so this is good.


Anyway,  after my antibiotic course I'm going to have a second procedure, there's a pocket in my bladder that is causing the problems so they'll go in and cauterize it and that should stop the infections. 

One thing I thought was weird was at the appointment at the uroligist's office they did a pee test to check for infection and it came back negative. But the nurse yesterday (if I remember correctly) said that depending on what's infected a simple pee test won't give accurate results.

I'm also wondering how often I've been having infections and for how long. I'm hoping that after this I won't feel so tired and run down all the time. I just don't have a lot of energy lately and I'm sure having something like this going on doesn't help the way I feel.

Not a diet because this is a new way for me to eat and not something short term.

I've been checking out a lot of diet books from the library trying to figure out which one would work for me. And then I found Volumetrics. The ideas are sensible -- eat lots of high volume, low calorie foods to fill you up and so you aren't hungry. Also eat lean protien and whole grains.  But the idea is also that nothing is really forbidden.

The first book (there are 2 editions) shows how to change the portions and also calories. One example is a baked potato with various toppings.

The other thing is that there's a formula to figure out how many calories it takes to maintain your current weight and then decrease that amount by either 500 or 1000 calories to lose either 1 or 2 lbs per week. So when I started it said I would need to eat 1900 calories a day. I started dowing this and it was so much food! 

400 calories at breakfast  

100 calorie snack

650 calories lunch

100 calories snack

650 calories dinner


Lunch was soup, sandwich, fruit, and veggies.  The first dinner I picked to eat (although it wasn't what I ended up following ) was -- pork chop, apple sauce, baked potato, asparagus, fruit and or/soup.

But I've realized that I'm  not eating all that. I don't need it . I'm not hungry after I eat lunch since it's so filling. I'm more grazing at lunch and I'm making sure that I'm getting enough fruit and veggies.

The best thing is my cravings for sweets and cookies is. Gone.  By this time in the week I've had cookies or a couple candy bars or something.  I've also cut out white bread for the most part. I've only been eating those Arnold's sandwich Thins.  Very good.

I've eaten out several times and it's been relatively easy to make healthier choices. But today Mom and I went for Chinese buffet. Omigod.  I feel so bloated and horrible afterwards. The same thing happened only milder the other day when I hate not quite so good.

I've lost weight and I don't feel deprived at all.

Also I'm going to try and transition more to "clean" eating -- eating less processed food. The Volumetrics diet does rely on fat free things or reduced fat like reduced fat peanut butter, which I don't like much at all because peanut butter is good for you. I'd rather eat less real peanut butter for fewer calories.

Evidentally I only post about my cats anymore.

So, Maddie has managed to chew most of her fur off both sides. Or lick it off. I thought it was because I had the house too hot but now I'm not sure. She has a vet appointment on Monday. I haven't combed her fleas yet, she hasn't let me. But Dean doesn't have any.

And Dean seems to be having stomach issues again. Even with this food so he may have to go back to the vet. He was doing really well on this Limited Diet Food, after I switched them they at less, Dean gained weight,a nd they both started running around and playing instead of just napping all the time. So maybe there is something else wrong.

I don't really want to spend more money on the vet. I hate to feel like that but, I had Anna for 19 1/2 years, once she had fleas really bad and needed treatment but other than that she was healthy and I never had to take her to the vet. I guess this is making up for it.  Couldn't this have waited until I moved and had more money available? argh

SLNRLBF will be here the day after tomorrow! Thursday! He will be with me this time on Thursday! so excited! so much to do!

I was kinda mean to Dean the Kitty. For a cat that's part siamese he never talks. It's kinda weird. And tonight I stepped on his tail and he never made a peep. So I got worried that maybe he doesn't meow, although I'm sure the vet would have noticed.

But still,the only time I think I've heard him make a sound was when I had to keep him and Maddie separate but maybe that was just maddie and I was imagining it was Dean.

So I decided to see if he does meow. I couldn't hurt him, I wasn't going to step on his tail again I did pinch his ear just a bit but he just shook his head and I couldn't bear to hurt him . So I closed him in my bedroom.

Less than 30 seconds I hear him meowing at being alone and separated from Maddie,

I think I named him well. I don't know if it's odd but they don't curl up together. Occasionally they'll lay down side by side but not really lie next to each other.

They'll play fight like crazy though and occasionally I've seen it go to far and Maddie hiss at him.

 btw I am askye there as well.

<input ... ></input><input ... >So,  this Dreamwidth thing, does anyone have an invite code they can spare?

I shouldn't be up this late, but I am.

So I've been thinking about trying the no shampoo thing. I went to get my hair cut, and the stylist (he's new to me, recommended by a co worker) said that I have really healthy hair and scalp,but oil build up. Which I knew, my scalp gets really oily.

He recommended rinising my hair with cheap carbonated water when I wasn't shampooing. Which I'm thinking about trying. I didn't wash my hair this morning or last night, but when I got home I took a shower and washed my hair with plain baking soda.  I just got bunch (probably more than I need) and scrubbed it in my hair. I had to do this in stages, and then rinsed it out and let it air dry.

My hair looks clean! soft and fluffy and no noticable oiliness weighing down my hair. It looks like when I use shampoo. So I'm going to experiment with this.

Also he suggested different glasses to de emphasis the roundness of my face. I want new glasses but they are on the list of things to wait for. (Actually I think I need new prescription, mine isn't bad, but I think my eyes have gotten worse). Anyway he suggested Sarah Palin style glasses.  I think the next time Im near a eye glass place I'm going to try on different styles. I'm thinking of more rectangular, heavier frames than what I have.  Because these seem too small for my face. My face seems to be getting rounder, I must be gaining weight again. I have a Wii Fit! and exercise tapes! I just need to use them.