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posted by [identity profile] raincitygirl.livejournal.com at 06:25pm on 02/07/2002
Well, I like the idea, because so many First Time stories show Clark exploring his sexuality through Lex, and this makes a definite change. Neat idea, to have him already grappling with the notion when Lex isn't really an issue. Although he doesn't actually find out he's an alien until the pilot episode, when he meets Lex. So if this is set pre-Lex, he could only know that he's weird and different. I honestly do think that if it's set after the pilot, Lex would be an issue, even if he wasn't the only catalyst. Simply because there's an intensity to his interaction with Clark that isn't present in Clark's interaction with other males in his life.

But I absolutely love the idea that Clark has already kind of figured it out before Lex arrives. Very intriguing. Another story which uses a twist like that is Livia's "Twenty-One". Its premise is actually quite different from this story's premise, but like this one, it plays around with generally accepted fanon.

Anyway, I like it muchly, but I well know how frustrating it can be to recapture a mood, a voice after a long period away. So what were your original ideas for what would come after this snippet? I wanna know, I wanna know!
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posted by [identity profile] askye.livejournal.com at 07:01pm on 02/07/2002
I haven't seen the Pilot yet and I was iffy on when Clark finds out about being an alien. I thought it was in the pilot. On the show Clark was strong and different while growing up, so how'd his parents explain that one? I can easily change to having him *feel* like an alien because he's different. Lord knows I often feel like I'm from Planet SpasticOddGirl.

My idea was to parallel Clark trying to come to terms with his feelings for guys and coming to terms with his feelings about being an alien. I see Clark as feeling a great deal of responibility--to his parents, to his friends, to his town, about his abilities. Jonathan certainly won't let him forget that. I think that's why Clark is so loyal to Lex, not only because he may have feelings for Lex but he feels responsible for Lex: Lex is his friend, no one really likes Lex, he saved Lex. (Now I'm off track)

Getting back to my idea. I wanted to explore Clark's loneliness, I don't think there would be many openly gay people in a town the size of Smallville in the Midwest (I maybe wrong, I don't live in the Midwest). I wanted Clark to worry that he might not age and then he'd have to leave his family, and then who would take over the farm? Who would look after his parents? If he doesn't age then he can't stay in one place for long or let anyone get close to him. Who can he be honest with about who he is? Who could accept him and not think he was a freak?

But his parents found him, and they accepted him and loved him, so maybe someone else would find him and love him. Someone he could love as well.

I don't think Clark has a real clear cut view of being some sort of hero or superhero. The people he saves right now are either altered because of the meteor rocks, which he feels responsible for, *or* it's in a reactionary manner to someone he feels responsible for being hurt. So my story wouldn't include the idea of a hero because I don't think Clark has really entertained that idea.

Does this make sense at all?

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posted by [identity profile] raincitygirl.livejournal.com at 07:41pm on 02/07/2002
It does indeed. Make sense, that is. And incidentally, I think you'd be right that it would be extremely difficult to be out and proud in a small Midwestern town. I know several guys from Alberta (the Canadian version of the Bible Belt, and the only province which has invoked the Notwithstanding Clause in order to NOT protect the rights of gay people against discrimination in its provincial laws)who said it was enormously tough growing up in small, conservative communities and *knowing* they were queers, and therefore unacceptable. Not saying that every Albertan or Midwesterner is nasty and closed-minded, but the institutional mindset is considerably less liberal than on the coast, in my experience.
Anyway, I like the parallels you're drawing between Clark's feelings of alien-ness and feelings of sexual confusion. Although actually I don't think it's the confusion which is freaking him out in your story. He's not confused at all. He's jjust in denial.You seem to have a really good handle on the character and on the story you want to tell, BTW.
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posted by [identity profile] askye.livejournal.com at 10:05pm on 02/07/2002
Yeah confusion isn't the right word. The parallels between accepting his sexuality and his alien-ness. I live in a medium size town and I know what some of the attitudes are. I've got a good idea on the story and Clark in my head (although usually Clark confuses me) but I lost the voice on this. When ever I start writing it again it doesn't fit with what I have. It's too...something. I'll work on it while I'm at the beach, nothing better than hiding from the conservative relatives and trying to write slash.
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