Collected Thoughts

I do NOT want to go to work tomorrow. For so many reasons. But especially because I have to show documentation that I don't have all of because I stupidly didn't autoarchive three months worth of email and then I purged my sent box.

See, the Head Boss (Big Boss's boss) got an email saying, basically "hey! I need someone to coordinate stuff, who is supposed to be it?" (coordinating drop offs and pick ups of stuff Except, yeah, Big Boss's name is on it and I've been doing the coordinating and it's worked! Okay, there were a few problems but I can not physically go and MAKE guys pick up and drop off like they should. I can damn well try and email them and call until I'm blue in the face. Which I've done, except I shouldn't have done any kind of verbal communication for most of it, I should have been sending out emails. It's just really hard for me to remember the "document because they are out to get you" mentality. WHich right now seems valid.

The kicker is the person sending the email is someone I've never seen an email from regarding any of this stuff. Even when there was a snafu it was a different person.

Anyway I have to write up a timeline ish of what's been going on, and it all sucks. I don't want to go to work!

Hopefully my new personal organizational system will work.

Also, I haven't worked on laundry or my room and I act like Dad isn't getting home tomorrow night.

However, I did make soup. I have no idea how it will taste. I was going to make chili but I had no garlic so I decided on chicken soup instead (I really should have garlic for that). So I sauted an onion and some celery, and some cumin, basil, salt and pepper and then chicken stock, bay leaf and springs of thyme. Oh and some red pepper flakes.

Then I let it simmer and I added carrots.

I let that simmer and added the chicken that I cooked last night. Now it's all simmering and yummy looking and I really want crackers. And milk.

So I'm going to throw on some clothes and go get some crackers.

I really need to cut down on my caffiene consumption because it makes me twice as nervous and freaked. Dad coming home and the place looking bad and mygod I'm not ready yet is nerve wracking enough.

Tonight I watched ABC News Tonight and they had a piece on sending mail to soldiers and how the Department of Defense is asking that only family and close friends send packages (supposedly becuase of the attacks on convoys) and that people should not send packages to Any Soldier, even Attn: Any Soldier.

See Wednesday I discovered anysoldier.com that has a list of contacts of soldiers who will get mail sent to them and distribute it to others in their group, unit, whatever it's called. You send it to their name Attn: Any Soldier.

So me being me I ran out and bought a bunch of stuff and was going to get ready to send it and now I see this and it just pushes my caffienated already stressed brain into "Omigod! How can they do that! Is it accurate????" I sent off an email to the website and I hope I'll get an answer. I'm thinking that maybe going to work Thursday was a bad idea.

What's come to me, recently, is that I'm very very undisciplined. Which I actually already knew but it was one of those things I'd rather wish away than deal with but it must be a sign of maturity and sanity that I'm tired of wishing away a great deal of things and that's one of them.

However, I'm not exactly sure how to move to be more discplined except to just do it and not just doing it is the problem. This has to be the big huge thing I talk about when I see my therapist. It's times like this when I wish there was a pill to fix everythind and who cares about trying.

I'm so over caffienated and stressed and which only makes me want caffiene more.

Today instead of getting laundry done I:

Went to Big Lots

Stopped over at Mom's

Cleaned out my bathroom cabinet and drawers

watched Farscape's Exodus to Genesis and discovered that the dvd is messed up and Throne for a Lost won't play. Which sucks because I really wanted to watch it.

Watched part of City of... and ooh! there was Sawyer getting his ass kicked by Angel!

Watched Boondock Saints, I know there's a fandom and I was curious. I wasn't sure what to expect and I don't think I'll rush to watch it again or go looking for fanfic but now I know what it is.

I'm still at work, tomorrow, even though we'll be technically closed, I'll be here. But only from 9-4 and in comfy clothes. I volunteered to do this so I'll get paid.

Especially since the employement agency changed things and I won't get paid for Thanksgiving and Christmas because I don't have enough hours. The change went into effect November 1.


I have seen the first 3 episodes of Farscape on dvd. I'll cut tag ( Farscape ).

You know I'm starting to regret my decision to come into work tomorrow but more money!!!

Tonight is Lost YAY!!! And comics, I'll save those for tomorrow. ( quick about Lost )

Maybe I'm really slow, but I can't understand how Bush can say he wants judges that will strictly interpret the Constitution while he also wants to get an amendment passed that would limit marriage to heterosexuals.

Wouldn't want strict interpretation of the Constitution mean you don't want it to be amended?

( Life update )

I got the second disc of Farscape in the mail. Can't wait to see it! I thought at first my Netflix dics didn't get here because the mailer is now Shrek Green. So I thought it was some stupid advertisement.

Today I was chatting with some people who work in the building and one guy asked if something was wrong, I said no and a chick I chat with on a regular basis said "She never smiles, unless she's talking." And this frustrates me.

I don't frown on purpose, but when I just stand with my mouth closed I look like I'm frowning. If I had a choice I'd have one of those mouths that turns up at the corners so it looks more neutral. If I try to show a slight smile I end up feeling like I'm the Joker.

Normally I don't wear make up but are there any kind of tricks I can use to make me look happier? I know keeping my eyebrows waxed makes a difference, that seems like a small thing but evidentally it makes some kind of difference. Today was the last straw, I'm tired of looking unapproachable and people assuming I'm upset or mad all the time.

I voted! It was very straight forward. I waited in line to get my ballot, the "privacy folder" (legal sized manilla folder) and this little receipt thing.

Then we had to wait in line for a privacy booth. There were 8 I think, the poll workers split us into two lines but that caused some confusion. The area I live in isn't very heavy on college age people, but I did see three who looked like they were young first time votes. I did see about 8 families show up, including one girl who looked about 15, but I'm guessing was closer to 13 who did the kid voting while her dad voted.

Some people brought their voter guides, some people went in and voted quick, others took their time. I thought I knew how I was going to vote on the amendments, but I ended up changing my mind at the last minute, the only amendments that I felt strongly about were parental notification for abortion, minimum wage, and 2 medical right to know.


Oh and at work today everyone's been asking "did you vote?"

I think this morning I accidentally left someone a $10 tip. Not that I'm going to go back and ask for the money but if I didn't then $10 somehow went missing.

At some point I'll be able to really catch up on lj but --- go theodosia!!

Mostly I wanted to say that I learned last night that Dad honestly thinks Kerry is a lying, thieving coward who will only do what the united nations wants and will act like a coward when there is a terrorist attack.

Not if, when, because Dad firmly believes that the only thing keeping terrorists from attacking again is that they are "on the run" in Iraq, but if Kerry is elected they'll figure out that he won't do anything to protect the country and so they'll attack.

I honestly didn't think anyone believed the Kerry=terrorist attack theory.